Well Blogsphere I have to admit i'm not feeling too chirpy. Everything seems to be getting me down and I just couldn't figure out why...... until Saturday that is when a friend who used to visit monthly but hasn't visited for 2 and a half years turned up (and by friend I mean the thing that turns up for most girls on a monthly basis!!). I've recently had my implanon contraceptive implant changed so i'm guessing that's the cause.
This reapperance has made me feel really broody which in turn makes me sad. For those of you who don't know for some having Pulmonery Hypertension means you can't have children, this is because of the strain that would be put on the heart that pregnancy would cause, and this is the case for me. At the moment I seem to be in a low place thinking about the things I don't / can't have. I'm sure once my friend has gone I'll be back to appreciating what I do have. I had counselling after I was diagnosed and about the only thing it helped with is realising that it's ok to feel sad and angry about my situation, I don't have to put on a happy face and be strong all of the time. Having PH is quite frankly shit, it's not a bed of roses, it does affect my life in a huge way, and it's ok to acknowledge that sometimes. There was a post on the PH facebook page asking if anyone has bad days, the answer to this is yes, we all have bad days, I can guarantee everyone with PH has a day where they don't have the energy or breath so they day is spent in bed or on the sofa watching tv or sleeping. I wish I could describe what having PH is like but it's so hard.
In happier news I had a nice day Christmas shopping with my sister on Friday. Every year we have a girly shopping day me, Natalie & Mum. This year however Mum couldn't come as Granny has been flooded out of her house for a week now, her house isn't actually flooded but you can't get to it. We're hoping she'll be able to get back to her house early this week.
I also bought some new boots which were a bargain. I have small feet so I was able to buy a pair of childrens boots. not bad for going out to buy an advent calendar.
In other news the Christmas lights were switched on in town on Friday. They were switched on by the prime minister, as he is our local MP, apparently there was much booing and someone tried to climb over the barriers, not sure what to do. I will take a picture of the chrismtas tree as it really is a sad looking thing. Our Christmas decorations will probably go up in a couple of weeks time.
Have a good week blogsphere, next blog i'll be back to my positive self x
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